the Change I Wish to See

...and whatever else it takes to find my pants

Before we get started, I just have to note how hard I tried to channel my inner Street Fighter and make that post title sound like "hydoookin."*

I used to work at the Hyatt.  I say "used to" because I no longer do.

Actually, it wasn't just any Hyatt.  It was this Hyatt:

I am in no way surprised that their website still doesn't work...
but it had a castle and everything
and I was its prince.
For 40 or so days.**
They had this problem with paying people.  Naturally, "people" had this funny way of meaning "only me."  So I told them it was probably best that we part ways, since had I known I'd be making charitable donations for 50 hours a week, I'd probably choose a shelter or soup kitchen in my native Stamford over a Hyatt Regency in Old Greenwich, CT.  Not Greenwich.  Not Greenwich.  But the place where CEOs come to escape clingy CFOs: Old Greenwich.  The place that venture capitalized Greenwich.  The creaky-jointed, Royal Tenenbaumy, dead?-no-not-really*** father of Greenwich.
Anyway, I was a star - a front desk clerk.  I was the guy who checked you in, pointed you on your way, and got slipped free pina coladas from the bartender in the atrium to maintain the magic.  And today is your lucky day because I found a series of journal entries from that era, collectively "The Hotel: Under the Table, Behind the Desk, and Loving It!" and today is the first installment.  Enjoy, and have a good weekend.
Like, I've been there for weeks and know less about what I'm doing than a person of reasonable intelligence would.  So that's good.
Everyone should come to this hotel.  One woman had reserved a double bed in a non-smoking room.  Unwittingly, I gave her a VIP, presidential suite with a king-sized bed and Regency Club access, all for no extra charge.  She just got an $1,500/night room for the low, low AAA-reduced rate of $99 plus tax and incidentals.
But hey, if they don't wanna tell me how to do this job, I'm just gonna keep on guessing.  Sure, I tried asking.  But playing out the scenario in my head went unnoticed so I spoke up. 
And how was my take-initiative-in-your-workplace rewarded?  I was told to sit down and train on a computer program.  And how'd that go?  It was like playing some rudimentary version of Warcraft.  Seriously: an actual Wizard with a wand, guiding you through a tower that oddly resembled the castle-like structure this place presents as a facade.  Success?  Well, duh: that was getting the angry-dragon-haired customer to stop screaming.
So yeah, I ask.  But then I get different answers, or no answers, or answers that need other answers to explain themselves.  Or answers they should be embarrassed to admit.  Or simulated 2-D fantasy realms.  I'm done asking.
Smile and nod.  Dish out the luxury.  I can't believe they made me shave my beard for this."

*I know, I know - it's really "hadouken."  Remember the fact-checking abilities attested to previously?  They're abilities, not stuffy-butt government mandates.

**Hell yeah I put it on my resume and wrote "November 2005 - January 2006."

***Oh the brilliance below:

Royal: Baby, I'm dying. I'm sick as a dog. I'll be dead in six weeks. I'm dying. 
Ethel: What are you talking about? What happened? Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I didn't know. What'd they say? What's the prognosis?
Royal: Take it easy, Ethel. Hold on. Hold on.
Ethel: Where's the doctor? Let's get...
Royal: Wait a second. Listen. I'm not dying. But I need some time. A month. Maybe two. I want us to...
Ethel: What's wrong with you?
Royal: Ethel.
Ethel: Are you crazy?
Royal: Baby. I am dying.
Ethel: Are you or aren't you?
Ethel: Dying? Yeah.


LiLu said...

I worked as an Events Planner in NC for 2 months. You better believe that bad boy goes on my resume. Maybe they won't notice the dates...

lacochran said...

You rock! And think how many people you turned into princes and princesses with your free upgrades! :)

Matt said...

This post makes me hate my job...I want to work at hyatt, for free and play warcraft games all day.

why did you ever leave?

I bet you regret it dont you?

Sara said...

I work at a non profit so I can totally relate to working for free...or at least feeling like you do.

f.B said...

lilu: the only reason i put up with the resume conspiracy is that otherwise they'd have to evaluate me based on my personality

la: i have been know to rock from time to time. job description = customer service, job performance = customer giveaways

matt: damnit. you're right. all they needed was an updated pack and some better hardware..

sara: working for free while hoping to make a difference = noble and brilliant. working for free for reasons unbeknownst to self = not so much

Nina said...

wow...what brought this series to mind...i wonder