Stop laughing. That could be you tonight.
Don't believe me? Neither did these people:
... and look what happened to them.
Remember that whole "we think beyond our means.... there are ... boundaries for our talents" bit the other day? Well, it's never truer than when we dance. And tonight we'll have more reasons to flail arms and stubbornly kick feet than on any other night of the year.
But you know that guy who always shows up on nights like tonight? The guy who'll punctuate every greeting with frotteurism and insisting you party like it's 1999 (tip: he might look like this*)...
Don't fall into his trap. Don't become prime material for Google images.
"But f.B, you handsome devil," you say, "how can I avoid the inevitable?"
Easy. 3-step program.
1. For most of us, this
... is not our life; not even metaphorically. So forget this picture existed. Because you can't recreate it. And if you're just so sure you can and just so sure you're much more talented than me, know that on a night like tonight, the dance floor will look more like your metro commute
Reuters
.2. Two-step. Like you never have before.**
Yes you can cross one foot in front of the other if a pseudo-salsa is your thing. That's fine. Do you. Just do it like it's a job interview, because any employer you'd want to work for knows what the YouTube is.
3. Ignore everything I just said. Grind your hips; against your date, the wall, someone else's date, whatever you can find. It's the last night of the year. Treat 2008 like Vegas and know that the best way to stave off humiliation is knowing that everyone else is humiliating themselves, too.
I'm gonna be sifting through your blogs again come Friday. And I wanna see footage of you and your buds performing creative interpretations of the following booty shaking classic:
.
Happy New Year!
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*Dear guy's lawyers: Not that this actual guy has or would ever do something like that.
**Try the Galapagos two-step.
