Hey kids! Franco Beans here.
You've heard of the Snuggie!
You've seen the ShamWOW!
the Shamie
the ShamSnug
the SnugWOW!
It's a Snuggie! It WOWS!*
Busted water heater? Tired of ice cold winter showers? Bathe in my SnugWOW! It'll keep you warmer than showering naked like those hygienic fundamentalists and it holds more water than any of those dated, 20th century, Martha Stewart Living towels you still use. Martha's got a life. I want a life, too!
SnugWOW!
Fed up with your lover's messy goodies? Trash the lacy teddy. Rock a SnugWOW!** No more sleeping in "the spot." No more SLS.*** Cut a hole -- maybe two! make it work for you! -- and keep on trucking. And clean up? No clean up! It wrings out dry when you're wrung out dry!
SnugWOW!
You might think a body glove like this would cost $100. Maybe even $200.
But no! This ain't your mama's body glove! This, is the moisture wrap of the future. And it's only -- wait for it... -- two easy payments of $49.99! And if you comment today, you'll get not one -- not one! -- but TWO
SnugWOWs!
for the price of one. Sing it with me: "that's two, two, two Snugs' for one!" Give the holiday-appropriate gift of Snug, and WOW your partner, your coworker or your mailperson!
Act fast! Supplies are imaginary!
Due to the SnugWOW's propensity to trap used liquid in its grasp, tests reveal it's like wearing a sopping rag of mildew, which is rumored to guarantee some sort of fungal infection somewhere. The makers of SnugWOW do not -- we repeat DO NOT -- want to hear about such conditions and will smother you with a SnugWOW if you complain.
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*It humiliates.
**Translation: full-body prophylactic.
***Sticky Leg Syndrome.
