the Change I Wish to See

...and whatever else it takes to find my pants

Vince, the ShamWOW guy?  Yeah, he's back.
  
And this time I'm gonna stop pretending I don't want what he's selling.  Mark my words: I will own a Slap Chop.
  

    
  
"You're gonna love my nuts" (at the 0:55 mark).
 
Really, Vince?  Why not just go with "My nuts taste better than my competitors?"  Or, or "My nuts: they'll leave you satisfied?"  Ooh!  Or how about, "My nuts: accept no imitations?"  And of course there's the classic, "Check out dees nuts."

You know exactly what you're doing.  I think you saw this
    
  
... and decided to be your own parody.  And that earns you major points.
 
Billy Mays would probably beat you up pretty badly in a fight.  But your marketing genius would mean you could hire someone to stand in for you.  Which would be awesome.  Because it would leave your precious nuts intact.

13 comments:

Lemmonex said...

Why does he have a head piece on!? This is what I never understand.

Sara said...

He has to wear the headpiece so his hands are free to slap his chopper. I want to know how many times he practiced tossing the slap chop in the sink behind him because you know that guy was never picked first in gym class.

Katie said...

Those things have been around forever, they just changed the name. Now you don't even have to invent your own as seen on tv product, just make up a name and hire a new spokesman? The nuts comment is pretty priceless though.

Liebchen said...

Ha - I especially like how the food *sparkles* right after he shows how well it's been chopped. Particularly the strawberry. If your product's that good, do you really need the special effects?

Ashley said...

I love it. I was watching the real infomercial over Christmas, and I don't know if I can go on living without a ShamWow.

f.B said...

lemmonex: !! the head piece. who can't hear him?

sara: totally had the same question. i actually replayed it a couple times to see if it was obviously fake.

katie: i don't know what you're talking about. there has never been anything like the Slap Chop.

liebchen: of course you do. because some people only respond to sparkles.

ashley: you can't. i'm trying to right now. it's not working.

lacochran said...

It slices! It dices!

Didn't Lucy do an episode on this? Why, yes, yes, she did. And without the tacky nut references.

Beamer said...

This guy is so entertaining he must be the devil. He's like a live Robot Chicken segment. I'm also fairly certain he must be from Long Island with the accent and "I just changed your f*ckin' life with my piece of infomercial crap" attitude (I went to college in NY).

f.B said...

la: Lucy was a god.

beamer: Long Island is a definite possibility. but the problem is that he has changed my life

Patti Ann said...

my favorite is "you're gonna have an exciting life!" really? tuna salad means i'll have an exciting life? who knew it was so easy?!

f.B said...

patti ann: for serious. i loved that, too. my resolution should obviously be to eat more life-affirming tuna

TOPolk said...

I...I think I want this too. And I don't even cook.

f.B said...

TOPolk: Vince is a hustler. no wonder he can sell kitchen products to a non-chef.