the Change I Wish to See

...and whatever else it takes to find my pants

So you know those new State Farm commercials?  The ones where someone says something clever to describe where her/his life is headed, like...


... and from that we're supposed to deduce that we should buy car insurance?

Well, you know that place where failure pile meets sadness bowl?  Yeah, I'm there.  And State Farm insurance commercials, even with Patrick Dempsey voiceovers, don't fix that.  I've been teetering on the rim of that bowl until four Fridays ago when it became official that I was the only person I graduated with that I knew had failed the bar exam.  Then it was sort of like I had stepped into one of these:
  
  
Fortunately, putting pen to paper -- or rather, html to web page -- has been like finding a good samaritan, Jamaican hero with a refreshing bottle of Red Stripe waiting outside my unexpected room of evil.  And so I haven't completely lost my mind.
  
So, to anyone who has commented on any post lately, or even just read without leaving a trace, thank you.  You have unwittingly been a wonderfully samaritan, alcohol-wielding, Jamaican man and I am so grateful.  I've been able to maintain at least a modicum of perspective.  And that led to this sight last night:
  
  

Now you have to look really closely, maybe squint, and default to your imagination if none of that works, kind of like you're doing for the setup of this very moment, because the iPhone camera doesn't zoom or flash, making it functionally irrelevant at night.  But that, my friends, is a replica leg lamp from A Christmas Story in the top window on the corner of 13th and O NW.
  
If there's any cheer I love, it's cult-followed, retro, Christmas cheer.  It empties that sadness bowl (a little) that I mentioned above.  In the end, Ralphie triumphantly got his Red Ryder BB gun.*  And I will have mine.  And it will be sweet.
  
  
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*Yes, I know he then proceeded to shoot his eye out and then crush his glasses.  Stop being so alert.  Dream-crusher.

10 comments:

LiLu said...

We all pitched in to buy my uncle the Christmas Story leg lamp one Christmas.

His wife probably hates our family... but that's how we roll.

Katie said...

Hooray unexpected room of evil commercial!

Sara said...

He may break his glasses but he never actually puts his eye totally out. So, all is well that ends well.

Hoping all of your BB dreams come true.

lacochran said...

JohnJohn (as in John F. Kennedy, Jr.) took the bar like three times before he passed? Consider yourself lucky you're not JohnJohn, what with all the attention he got for not passing repeatedly. And the being dead thing. That's gotta suck.

You'll pass. No worries.

Sara said...

Is there any chance you can send your Boy George piece to the bar people? Because in my mind, there is do doubt that should give you the extra points you need. It was brilliant and very lawyer like.

In all seriousness, I agree with lacochran...you will totally pass.

f.B said...

lilu: "that's how we roll." irreverently? awesome.

katie: so hard to find for so long. now, at your fingertips.

sara: you're right! i'm gonna tell that to the dream-crushers. and maybe i should use this blog as part of my character evaluation for the bar...

la: i do run from attention. i run hard. and i sprint like the devil from death.

to all: thank you

zandria said...

I'm not all about having a leg lamp, but I think it's a pretty cool (attention-getting) piece to display in the window at a busy intersection. :)

f.B said...

i totally agree. it actually would never make it to my window. it's a distant love for that lamp, a love from afar

Brooke said...

There's a leg lamp ornament at Hallmark. Or there was last year. A real one is better. Good eye.

f.B said...

an ornament just might work, actually. and for some reason, i could tell you where the three nearest Hallmark stores are