the Change I Wish to See

...and whatever else it takes to find my pants

12.16.2008

smokey-eyed planet

Forgive me, this post isn't about Facebook, but this story is absurd.
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I haven't seen CNN's Planet in Peril.

Hearing that it was essentially in its second edition was the second most surprising news of the week for me.  The first?  Learning that the Arena Football League is suspending play in 2009 after 20 years.*  20 years?  There's been arena football for 20 years?

Anyway...

It's not looking good for Planet in Peril.  And anyone who reads or watches any attempts at journalism knows that those crazy journalists love their puns.  So drum roll please...


 
Nice.  You stay classy, Reuters.

Now, again, I haven't seen the show, but I'm thinking the reason isn't the stale excuse that we don't care about our planet.  The truth is, a favorable proportion of people who watch CNN probably do.

The problem is in the promos:
    
Take a closer look...


... and one at this


Everyone looks like a smokey-eyed bastard.  The photo shoot must've been a disaster:

AC 360: *pouting lips*, *confused*

photographer: AC 360, baby, no.  think "hungry."

Sanjay Gupta: but we're not.

AC 360: then can we think "horny?"

Lisa Ling: for polar bears?

photographer: *sigh*.  i want to you to look into the distance.  look like you're Kate Moss, it's 1993, and a wind from the north has just carried in the scent of a cheeseburger. HUNGRY -- but a hunger for planet-saving.

Sanjay: nailed it!

Jeff Corwin: i effin hate you guys
 
 
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*Said a league source, "We couldn't be taken seriously if we lost too many teams."  Uh huh.  Taken seriously.

4 comments:

Liebchen said...

I had to Wikipedia Arena Football, but after I did, I think I like their team names more than the NFL's. I mean, Gladiators, Bruisers, and Dynamite sound so much cooler than Steelers, Bears, or Broncos.

Katie said...

They need the theatrical names in arena football to make up for the game play. You know, I actually stopped in my menu browsing last weekend when I saw Planet in Peril. It sounded by title like something that could be interesting, educational, informative even. Then I saw the sensationalized A-Coop and Dr. Gupta were the headliners....and continued browsing.

Sara said...

Have you ever noticed that sometimes two really attractive people have a really ugly baby? That is what happened with Arena Football. The NFL got drunk one night and hooked up with the original "American Gladiator" and the result was one ugly baby.

f.B said...

liebchen: it sounds like a lot of "having to try harder" to me. but "Dynamite" is hilarious

katie: sex (or whatever it is in their eyes) just seems like a lame way for a news channel to sell really, critical news that already features polar bears and global warming

sara: yes, yes i have noticed. and your comment is spot on. except i might add that if it teamed up with "American Gladiator," this baby is probably a steroid-baby