muzak
usually consists of, but is not limited to:
...
that horrific clapping sound every 5 seconds or so instead of drums
...
generally accepted as proof that the world is doomed.
usually consists of, but is not limited to:
...
that horrific clapping sound every 5 seconds or so instead of drums
...
generally accepted as proof that the world is doomed.
Thanks Urban Dictionary!
Wikipedia agrees.* And it says that "muzak" is designed for... grocery stores... public toilets... and elevators" and is a "generic epithet for excessively bland music."
And in that epithetical spirit, I say, " 'Zak you, von Trapp children."
I was channel-surfing Thanksgiving morning. Trying to avoid watching the Awesome Original Second Time Arounders come back around, yet again. And I stumbled upon the ugly cousin of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade:
the 6-ABC / IKEA Thanksgiving Day Parade in Philadelphia.
IKEA?
Of course it sucked. So we'll skip that part. But it featured the Von Trapp children -- the great grandchildren of Captain and Maria Von Trapp from The Sound of Music.
If you didn't see them embarrass the city of Philadelphia, congratulations. I tried to find a clip, but apparently no one wants to remember. The air-quotes performance air-quotes included a bunch of this
.Seriously? Inserting "the point" into any dance is just creatively dishonest.
But they do have a MySpace page, with five friends. One of which, "Matt Damon & Mark Wahlberg," is really just a 16 year old boy from New Zealand.
IKEA should've just called Bergenfield High School's marching band, instead. It's been to the Macy's parade before, but wasn't invited this year in some obvious administrative oversight. Disney World asked it to march in its light parade in the Magic Kingdom a bunch of times. And it played the Tony's in 1987:
...and Giant's Stadium in 1996**
.
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*And it speaks with the same kind of authority as that Simon guy who says stuff.
**I'm at the 4:07 mark, in glasses with a trumpet. And by the wincing on my face, apparently I farted.
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