Many teens don't keep virginity pledges.
You don't say.
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Before I continue, I considered issuing a "mea culpa" to anyone this topic might offend. Truthfully, however, it's only about the idea that highly-hormonal teenagers can be convinced that sex outside of religiously-sanctioned coupling is on par with murder, as far as eternal damnation goes. And since an idea is one of the few beings in the world that doesn't have feelings or fight back, I enjoy bullying one when it gets cocky.
I now return to our regularly scheduled programming.
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You mean to tell me that teens -- people who generally can't really afford to go out and can't buy cars, and therefore often end up hanging out at each others' homes with nowhere to go but to the bottom of that cheap bottle of vodka and gallon of orange juice -- shack up like rabbits when the parents are away, even when they promise to be on their best behavior?
Consider my
You know what this means, right? This means there are teenage boys out there that lie. about. sex. Before, we thought it was just about to whom they gave the HBI*. Well now, apparently, they even lie about whether they give it at all.
Whoa.
Word.
I, very personally, am dismayed. Based on her not-at-all-stereotypical proclivity for telling nothing but the truth about money, I entrusted a 13 year-old cousin with one of my credit cards. She pledged to only use it in emergencies. So, what? You're saying she took my card and rented a room for her and a desperate-to-be-beneficial friend?
Of course she did. So would/did we. Because underneath the classically pimply facades, teens are volcanic assortments of unfulfilled desire. In fact, nine years ago, in preparation for this very post, I looked deep into a 17 year old friend's soul and I took a picture. I still can't reveal that picture's location because it is too deviant to share. Think
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*Hot beef injection.
**I get my lessons from Meerkat Manor.
