It's 10:30 am. Do you know where your Obama is?
I'm sure you've all heard by now that he stopped by Ben's on Saturday.
The most important details of that trip?
1. He had a half-smoke.
2. He knew to carry cash (Ben's doesn't take cards).
3. When he got back to the privacy of his temp-home bathroom, he used two-ply, ultra soft Charmin.
Why is this huge for me?
Because I've stood in that spot, held a bag of wonderfully greasy food, and paid in cash.
Now, I've never received an ovation. But it's only because no one knows who the balls I am. This is because despite what happened last Friday, in public I wear the mask of the greatest mouse detective who ever lived --
-- and so people tend to scream and shoo at me with brooms.
But what you may not have known is that in my very own sketchy, local Giant, Obama also endorses Jones Pure Cane Soda:
"Orange 'you glad for change?'"
Well fig yeah, I am. This sh*t is bananas .
